Photo by David Thompson
Tonight, while thinking harder about what word I wanted to write about for "F", I sent a little prayer up to Heaven thanking God for this great day I got to spend with two wonderful people. I talked to Him about some other things that have been on my mind lately, and then, I sat still for a second. In that second, I swear I softly heard Him whisper, "freedom." My eyes filled with tears as I realized what He meant. And, in that moment, I almost drowned by the overflow of words that began filling my mind. (If I were ever asked, "How do you know that God is real?" These are the specific moments that I would describe in immense detail. There's truly no denying it.)
All my life I have strived to be different.
The middle school I attended required that we wear collared shirts every day, and every day I felt challenged to add something to my ensemble that would set me apart from all the other twelve-year-old girls in my class. For example, I own 7 pairs of Converse. All which I purchased before they were actually a fad, all which I wore with flair jeans, my collared shirts, and multi-colored plastic jewelry, and all which I wore every. single. day. I have carried this perspective about things with me as I've grown older, and especially lately, it has trickled into my life even more. The other day, I bought a pair of shoes. I wore them, and I heard someone say, "Wow. Those are... different." I patted myself on the back, and felt utterly accomplished. If I had a dollar for the amount of times that I've been told that I'm weird, I would probably be a millionaire. I've never, ever wanted to have something, do something, or be something that is similar to someone else.
I've only ever wanted to simply be me.
In the past, there have been days when I've been down about the fact that I desire to be so different. There have been days when I've wondered why I wasn't just created with the ability to be normal, the same, and satisfied with being like everyone else around me. Because of this, I've also found that all my life, I have been searching to find real freedom. Freedom from the pressure that society places on our shoulders to be perfect, to be like everyone else, to be something that we're not.
But, my Jesus is righteous. And, "in my anguish, I cried to the Lord,
and He answered by setting me free."
It wasn't until a few months ago, when I changed my major to pursue my passion, stopped worrying about what other people thought of me, listened to that still small voice that muttered words that gave me courage, and like I have said before, placed it all at the feet of Jesus, that I really discovered what real, true freedom actually is.
Now, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't thank the Lord for giving me the confidence to be myself, to be different. And, there is not a single doubt in my mind that the freedom I have found in knowing that who I am is enough was strictly born from the security I have in the fact that the love my Savior has for me comes in tidal waves, and engulfs my soul day after day.
By no means do I have any desire to conform to this world.
Therefore, I rest solely in the fact that who I am is exactly
who He created me to be.
And, who I am in Christ is what makes me free.
"All this is proceeding along lines planned by God and then executed in Jesus Christ. When we trust in Him, we're free to say whatever needs to be said, bold to go wherever we need to go."
[Ephesians 3:12 - The Message]
F is for Freedom.
(in Christ alone)